#because logically. it just makes sense.
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Been trying to working on my trust issues thru writing and here's the problem: I think everything I say makes sense how does everyone else not think this way
#lindsay speaks#// vent ish#like yk usually therapist say it's coming from an irrational fear but i don't feel like I'm being irrational i think I'm very logical#like i mentioned recently i don't believe in absolutes especially in relationships and the counselor I was talking to was baffled ghhghfh#''not even your family?'' girl especially??? what are we talking about#and then it was how do you know if you don't try / every person is different every relationship is and it's like yeah#but someone always leaves first there's no other end to this story yadayada so then it's it's normal for relationships to only last a seaso#like ok so you agree there are no absolutes and shes like wait no. ok so what gives. there's no such thing as unconditional love#there's always conditions. there's always exceptions. there's always an end. and the majority of the time it's a bloody one.#so really why treat anything seriously.... it will never last soooo... i give up#literally everytime i have said ''yk what... I'm going to trust them. if they say nothing's wrong then nothing's wrong. if I'm loving them#wrong they will let me know. if they hate me they will tell me. stop worrying stop worrying!!'' and then it's always [#[psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation]#and I'm left feeling like what the fuck is reality what is going on and they're like ''yk you're just not fun anymore'' and throw me away#meanwhile I'm still laying there in the garbage bin confused as fuck !!!!!!!! what the hell !!!!!! I'm not fun anymore because I'm hurt??#and confused???#so no. absolutes do not exist. and people will leave you for reasons such as ''too emotional'' or ''no fun anymore''#and I've accepted that. i guess it's trying to unaccept it that i struggle with.#because logically. it just makes sense.#and it's ruining my life that i can't trust anyone#and I'm right about it.#and if it's not a universal truth then... it's just me. and I'm cursed#my b lemme stop being so not fun then.
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"While all this is happening, Orym has gone full shell shock mode. He's not talking anymore. He's going to go slump down onto a rock and is listening to all the debating at this point and he doesn't know what to do. He's been so sure for so long, and doesn't know what to do. Going in feels so wrong to him. But he hears the logic that it's only a matter of time before someone or something, a day from now, a year from now, six months from now. And just let's them figure it out, because he's took all his energy to make it to this point."
- Liam, C3E118
#some people heard “he hears the logic” and ran away with that#this is not orym changing his mind#this is orym not knowing what to do#i interpreted “hearing the logic” as understanding the logic#just because he gets the reasoning doesn't automatically mean he agrees with the idea#i can sum it up as “i get that someone will go in eventually but idk if that means we have to go in because it feels like a bad idea��#at least that's how i saw it#i could be wrong#he has no energy to think and will let the rest of bh do the thinking#and orym will follow along#similarly to a soldier#reminds me of episode 39 when he said that he “wasn't paid to think”#i haven't even talked about orym being shell shocked yet#it makes sense of course he's shell shocked#in his shoes#i can picture this little soldier with a thousand yard stare#also i love that liam used that specific term#because while everyone uses the term#it originates from wwi to describe soldiers#orym of the air ashari#orym#c3e118#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers
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a broken man's last effort, all for nothing
#henry miller#steven stevenson#jack kennedy#dave miller#dee kennedy#peter kennedy#dsaf#dayshift at freddy's#my art#drew this because i was thinking about steven's death having more of an impact than in game#it does logically make sense for them to not react THAT much (which this is kind of the same but more dramatic? not actually pulling emotio#ns from the rest)#its just oh. jesus christ what henry can just DO that???#so it puts them more on edge from what Henry can do#i dont know.. dont @ me......#also was talking to my friend about how i dont imagine their deaths being instant either.#for the phoneys its the quiet void to insistent ringing. static covering once coherent thoughts#so loud . then nothing#for the rest....... ummmmm thats for another day#sorry for the tags ramble LOL#also added little contxtt yess its a false heartbeat/pulse. its meant to mimic being alive... i forget i have to actually say my hcs
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance#doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or#or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.'#idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question...#and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms#jrwi fish and chips#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips#the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think#tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh#ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not
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An AU where Lucifer and Adam fall in love after Lilith fled the garden yet went back to convince Adam to join them, in this universe, Lilith convinced Adam and he joined their revolution. Lucifer falls in love with Adam during their time planning, he tells Lilith and she understands. Eventually with time heaven finds out about this whole entire thing, including Adam and Lucifer's now growing relationship/ family. And lastly Lucifer is given a hard gut wrenching choice. To pick choosing to save Adam and their son instead of keeping his memories of falling in love with Adam. The consequences of chosing this option is that both Lucifer and Adam would forget their history together as if it never existed, the gain from this? Heaven doesn't have to get rid of Adam and Abel.
Eve basically raised Abel as her own without the knowledge that she did not birth him unlike Cain. Adam continues being the chosen one to father all humanity alongside Eve, his wife. And ends up growing resentful towards Abel thinking he was the result of Eve’s and Lucifer's affair as Abel looked and acted identical to Lucifer. Eve obviously denied everything but Adam was too blinded by rage and betrayal to believe her word for it. Eve knew Abel was Adam's but deep inside she felt no genuine connection to Abel like a mother would have to their child. But she loved Abel regardless.
And as for Lucifer, he has no knowledge of Abel being his son neither does he hold any feelings for Adam. He remembers nothing.
The moment Adam dies however, Lucifer regains his memories, immediately, his heart shattered into pieces. And also, he so desperately wants to reconnect with his son afterwards.
#adamsapple#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel abel#lucifer morningstar#the angels be like with eve: here's this grown ass child it came from your belly#Eve looking confused as ever while holding a baby Cain /just given birth: how I- when ???#angels: magic?#Eve: oh! that makes total sense c:#*never questions their logic ever again *#the reason why Adam is an angel and Abel has the halo is because it represents how they died! and Lucifer is dreaming about how he lost them
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he’s mad she ratted him out
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#jheselbraum the unswerving#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#okay because 1. she used to be a henchmanic but I don’t think she was ever on his side#2. I’m pretty sure she was a spy or SOMETHING#3. when the shaman guy started rejecting Bill. written on the side of that page it says (in code):#‘which one of my henchmaniacs ratted me out’#and then the prophecy was given#and she’s The Oracle. which y’know…give prophecies#on her little scribbled out bio you can kinda make out that it says she’s the smartest one or something of that sort#but that she betrayed bill or something like that (I’m going off of memory)#and so I think she was never really on his side to begin with and was there to learn what he was trying to do#if I’m wrong *DON’T CORRECT ME* 🥺🥺🥺 please HAHA#I’m having a matpat moment 😎 I dunno I just don’t think she would have been on his side#also considering the fact that her name is ‘the Unswerving’#a term that means ‘unwavering’ or ‘steadfast’ and basically implies that she would not change her position on things#so it doesn’t make logical sense to me that she would have been on his side and then switched and then gotten that title?? idk#I just think about her a lot…I love you space fish mom…#just a goofy drawing I did during church 😁
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The best part about the bingqiu epic-misunderstandings-era during the jin lan city arc is that it works so well BECAUSE luo binghe is genuinely scary and unnerving at times. I think he should have been SCARIER actually. The dreadful feeling of inevitability that justice will be enacted upon you by the protagonist and his presumably world warping powers and persuasion should be utilized MORE!
#“b-but he's too scary! having a moment of doubt the love interest would actually hurt the main character is toxic!”#BUT THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO GOODDDDD#hes returned from hell 3 years earlier. manipulates and charms his way into gongyi xiao's position in about a YEAR!#keeps such a tight ship of the whole huan hua sect that it isnt leaked to other sects that hes been alive this whole time for a whole YEAR!!#and now hes BACK and hes CHARMING and everyone LOVES HIM and it makes no SENSE.#it doesnt make sense to be this influential in a short amount of time but it absolutely does because hes the PROTAGONIST!!!!#the world's logic is his!! he is fate and fate loves him!!! the inevibility of the protagonist!!! fate!! aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!#and hes so gentle and smiling the whole time. what a wonderful and upstanding young man. what beauty and grace💖💖💖#sorry i just have a lot of feelings#throwaway post#svsss#scum villains self saving system#luo binghe
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Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?
Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>
#dbhc#dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc ren#renthedog#dbhc doc#since I talk about him in the tags FGBJCGHN#it’s another one of those situations where I drew it that way when I was younger because I didn’t really understand why ppl were drawing#hybrids with flat spaces where human ears should go and have dog ears on the top of the head— I couldn’t figure out anatomically#it makes more sense to me now since animals are literally like that but it’s just something I kept doing and came up with a better#reason for it later once I had a better understanding of stuff#I don’t necessarily think two sets of ears is logically more sound than reworking the anatomy of a human head to have ears on top but!#it’s really not that deep LMAO#I like the idea of hybridizations being wonky because weird stuff physically happens to people all the time#hybrid or not#and then we gotta deal with the physical consequences of stuff we were born with… yknow#ANYWAY WHAT A WEIRD RAMBLE#tldr funky hybrid who now has hearing problems/gets overwhelmed easily by sound. ren the dog I love you#and if you were to look into my soul you would find that I also think dbhc doc helped him craft earbuds using android tech to work perfectly#to tune out the sounds he needs#:3 because they are friends and I think doc should use his expertise to help make life easier for ren#I’M STILL RAMBLING!!!#good grief
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I AM GOING TO COME BACK TO THIS ONE I HAVE TOO MANY IDEAS AND I WANNA GET TO OTHERS BUT THIS WILL BE ADDED ON TO.
THANK YA @f1ns FOR THE REQUEST AND THE BEGINNING OF AN AVALANCHE!
#the thing is#I am no stranger to knight papyrus#but its usually been me consuming content about it not me sitting and pondering about it#which is basically what ive been doing#and will continue to do#HAVE FAITH#LEMME COOK#because like honestly idk who the hell the knight is theres so many arguments and they all make so much sense for so many characters#but im ignoring facts and logic#and just thinking#if PAPYRUS#caused a world ending event#first of all why-#but also HOW#HOW WOULD HE FEEL#CAUSE HES SUCH A FORGIVING GUY#HED FORGIVE ANYONE WHO (ALMOST) (???) ENDED THE WORLD#BUT WOULD HE FORGIVE HIMSELF?? LIKE I WANNA SAY YES BUT ALSO????#No idea#SO IVE BEEN PONDERING#thank you for your time :3
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I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.
Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.
Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.
"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.
That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#mental health support#suicide#suicide tw#(after this i'm going to rant about being told the unhelpful narrative i included above)#when i was younger the thing i was told the most was that suicide would only transfer my pain to others...#...and is that true? maybe. was it helpful? no.#why was that unhelpful?#because i started using that as yet ANOTHER reason to feel guilty and to lash out against myself...#...because that didn't magic away my suicidality like it 'should have'...#...and that was ~obvious~ proof i didn't care enough about my loved ones to keep them out of harms way...#...and it can be really hard not to do that (give advice like that) because if you're not the suocidal person...#...you have the luxury of thinking without the burden they are labouring under...#...you can see 'logically' and make assumptions about what the other person 'needs'#it's just frustrating because i know that people like this want to help but i worry about *how* they are helping...#...in the sense that i want their efforts to actually help their person and bring them closer
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Okay there's already that post that talks about the parallels between the previous scene with Thundercracker and the humans vs Starscream and the humans but this is the direct moment after that and. Ohh this is so good. Thundercracker let them go because they're fragile and can't physically hurt them, and Soundwave agrees on that but he knows that they'll tell what happened (considering how Soundwave was a communications officer, he probably knows how fast word travels better than anyone) so they have to die anyway. "Regrettable but necessary", it's for the greater good of the mission
#and the interesting thing as well is that I can't tell if Soundwave is being genuine when he says it's regrettable#because on one hand he just killed dozens of people in cold blood and so far the decepticons haven't really had a solid care for human life#but on the other hand soundwave's logic makes complete sense for why they'd need to take them out and also soundwave's cassettes were likely#viewed by starscream in the same way the decepticons view humans. being small and fragile#*punching wall* THIS IS SO INTERESTING#transformers#transformers skybound#transformers 2023#transformers spoilers#soundwave#thundercracker#my post
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Why do you think the tides have slightly turned from "Elia deserves better than Rhaegar" to shipping her and Rhaegar together? Like what is the psychology behind these people because I've seen some of them like/reblog anti Rhaegar posts while also shipping Rhaegar x Elia at the same time.
hey anon! my thoughts are a bit messy, but i’ve done my best to explain them coherently :)
so, rhaegar was the best man anyone could have when elia was alive, and most people want the best for their favs. he was considered the most handsome, didn’t have a bad personality, and he was crown prince—meaning elia was almost queen, which is often seen as the greatest role a woman can have. the narrative also treats rhaegar as a beautiful, tragic, haunting figure, and elia actually had this very aesthetically pleasing man all to herself at one point! she was married to him, had children with him, and her life was so close to perfect! but rhaegar just had to go and ruin it. 😠
for many elia stans, if rhaegar hadn’t fallen in love with another woman (they want him to have been a completely different character), then everything would’ve been perfect, and elia would’ve had the best, most desirable life. however, that’s not what happened—elia met a very tragic end, and as a result, these stans feel double the bitterness. because of this bitterness, they blame rhaegar for everything (even though it’s not logical to do so), but he’s just too ‘perfect’ to let go of. so, for years these stans have made rhaegar revolve around elia, filling his tag with posts about her out of bitterness. so, i do believe that this obsession with rhaegar x elia has always been there, but i think it’s become a more favorable stance on the elia stan side of the fandom because of a mix of reasons.
plus, rhaegar is one of the few canon relationships we know elia had, since she’s not much of a character. because of this, and the fact that most people don’t like to stray too far from canon, most elia stans are forced to focus on rhaegar, which has created an echo chamber. basically, if a sentiment about elia and rhaegar’s relationship becomes popular, then the whole elia stan side of the fandom will likely regurgitate the sentiment. (also, this desire to stick close to canon is likely why the elia x arthur ship was so popular. while it’s a total crack ship, it had good aesthetics, and since elia and arthur at least knew each other, it allowed the stans to create their perfect fanfiction whilst sticking it to rhaegar. but remember, elia was actually married to rhaegar and had children with him, so while arthur is cool, rhaegar was always ‘top dog,’ meaning arthur would never be able to match up to rhaegar to most elia stans. also, the arthur x elia crack ship is likely her second most popular ship, which just shows how little elia stans have to work with, so they’re always forced to eventually return back to rhaegar for a lot of things.)
however, even if the elia x rhaegar ship gains more popularity, these stans will never stop hating rhaegar because he wasn’t ‘perfect’—and he wasn’t perfect because he didn’t love elia. plus, rhaegar loving another woman and supposedly kidnapping her is what began the war that led to elia’s tragic death. that’s bitterness times 1000. and while i don’t actually blame rhaegar for the war, i do think that this is how an elia stan sees it. i also don’t view rhaegar’s complex relationship with elia as a bad thing—it’s actually a very realistic take on an arranged marriage between two decent people. but most elia stans will never be able to get over the fact that they almost had everything, which is why many have it out for lyanna, as they consider her a thief who ruined their ‘perfection.’
tbh, that might be why so many elia stans are so obsessed with the idea that rhaegar only got with lyanna because of the prophecy—they don’t want to believe that rhaegar actually loved a different woman and not their perfect self insert elia. that’s a bit mean of me… but i don’t know what else one would call the ‘elia’ elia stans have created.
now that i’ve laid all those thoughts out, i’ll try to explain why the tides seem to be turning… i think it may have something to do with the ‘targaryens are all evil and bad’ sentiment losing popularity. i think this shift has occurred due to a mix of factors, such as years of fandom fights and fandom cycles leading to the targs being more liked now than before. it helps that canon doesn’t actually condemn the targs/favors them quite a bit, and the influx of new targ fans from HOTD has also contributed. this combination of reasons seems to have shifted the way the mainstream fandom discusses all the targaryen characters, including rhaegar. so, with this shift, it’s only natural that some elia stans/elia x rhaegar shippers—who’ve always been there—are using this opportunity to push their agenda. while these stans still hate rhaegar and see him as the bad guy, they just can’t let go of him. and as the mainstream fandom moves away from the anti targaryen sentiment, these smaller corners of the fandom, which tend to be echo chambers, are also affected, which has therefore led to a rise in rhaegar x elia shippers and the ‘shifting tide’ that you’ve also noticed.
#‘if only rhaegar did this’ is a very common sentiment amongst elia stans#most stans have always had the ‘if only’ mindset#‘if only elia survived’ easily leads to ‘if only rhaegar didn’t run off with his whore’ as the targs become less hated#it’s kinda a pipeline? rhaegar anti plus elia stan leads to rhaegar x elia shipper who still hates rhaegar#another reason that a lot of this happens is because elia and the martells plus dorne are the good ‘others’ a person can like#while the targaryens are the ‘bad others’ one can safely hate as they’re white & have a bit of demon symbolism + come from an ‘evil’ empire#the targs also ruled over everyone so a lot of fans like pushing all the blame onto them for all the problems#however the targs are cool and they’re hot af and being royalty is the best! so they’re the ‘bad others’ one can safely hate#but people still want their aesthetic and want their favs to have what the targs had. all the cool magic + the aesthetic + danys monikers#so people can convince themselves that it’s okay and logical and right to hate the targs but most ppl will still connect their favs to them#of course… things have been shifting in the fandom which i’m very happy about#and all of these sentiments are combined and compressed when it comes to rhaegar and elias relationship#so any big shift on how the fandom views the targs will always affect the way rhaegar and elias relationship is viewed#it just so happens that the targs aren’t the evil dragon nazis anymore so it’s kinda okay for elia stans to ship him with her#i’m not gonna go through my tags and make sure they make sense so i’m simply hoping for the best#anyways… i hope i didn’t digress too much. i just found this shift so interesting so i couldn’t help myself#asoiaf fandom critical#anti elia stans#rhaegar targaryen#anti rhaegar x elia#house targaryen#valyrianscrolls#pro rhaelya#lyanna stark#rhaegar x lyanna#anon ask#thanks anon this was a fun topic to cover#i recently found a really old post about both elia and lyanna and boy… it was quite discusting to read#elia stans kinda cycle from ‘elia deserved better x crack ship with shallow aesthetic’ back to elia x rhaegar while shitting on rhaelya#just know that rhaegar is always the bad guy to them! the sentiment on lyanna will go from hot to cold but rhaelya is always bad as well!
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Honestly the more I think about it the more I really think the sun and moon dew mushroom rlly should've been an amorphophallus instead
- extremely rare and take an immense amount of expertise and tedious care and special conditions to bloom (to the point where one blooming is an incredibly proud event for gardens and often publicized to draw visitors nationwide)
- on average take 5-7 years, sometimes even 10 for some varieties, to reach maturity
- human sized
- called the "corpse flower" (because it smells like rotting flesh)
- weird penis shape
- variety called amorphophallus yaoi
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#prefacing this by saying i doubt teen mxtx was a big horticulture studier#and this is my own fanon exposed point or whatevr but ive always been kind of ? at how people call peerless cucumber a 'plant body'#when hes really a fungus#a fun guy even#if i had to scientifically explain id guess mushrooms were chosen because theyre decomposers#so it would make sense to feed it blood and qi. but also like everything about the growing process is very much plantlike#like they grow it from seed right ?? mushrooms dont have seeds ??#is it actually a plant thats just called a mushroom??#whatever stupid airplane stupid stallion novel logic * dies mad#svsss
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really love characters who have varied panic responses. kirk stating himself that he does not panic outright, externally, not in high-stress dangerous situations, but instead becomes tense and level like a wound string, on-guard: mostly because his role as captain necessitates that he maintain level rationality even when facing potential death as his training as 'the guy who tells you what to do when shit hits the fan' requires, but also because his childhood experiences taught him early that drowning in the desperate haziness of panic won't help you survive. especially as kirk already follows his intuition so deeply. he learned to grasp and contort the feeling. spock is the main person who represses his emotions, of course, but kirk does it to those deep-set, personal ones (this includes how he doesn't reveal anything truly personal about himself willingly 90% of the time, only what others already know/shallow anecdotes) in a much more subtle way that's really interesting to me. certified expert at avoiding the subject as long as he isnt caught out on the lie. professional bluffer.
in terms of past or parents we dont know much!!! hes known as the heart-on-his-sleeve guy!!! like yes he yells, he gets irritated, excited, hes a whirlwind of quick-thinking and plans and intuition, he goes out of his way to connect with his crew and shows it, when he puts on a little act or bluff he puts his heart into it and clearly enjoys the dramatics so much, at times he wears his heart on his sleeve, he laughs openly and is honest to spock about what he means to him, he's very sun-coded to me in a burning, passionate way, always intertwined with the stars and seeking them out, but when it comes to genuine deep-set turmoil? we dont actually know all that much about him??? hes so full of emotion and character (i love fics where spock characterises jim's mind/bond as a whirl of colour and sensations, hes a quick thinker!!! intuitive!! lively!!!) and yet its still so outwardly surface level. tarsus iv gets mentioned like twice? so especially here where kirk gets briefly jumpscared by the creature, because like:
its subtle but his eyes. his eyesss!!!!! kirk commands with his emotions but there's always some sort of level of control to it, or he transforms them into something that spurs on others or uses them to ascertain a goal: seeing unguarded fear/distress in his eyes even if its faint and brief (in this instance) makes me go insane every single time. like!!! its such a small moment!!! he isnt even panicking!!! really, he just got jumpscared!!! its insignificant!!!!!!! but seeing a two-second flash of actual, naked apprehension is just...oughhh,,,,,,,,,
oh god, and dont even get me started on the galileo seven episode where he assumes a tense level-headedness throughout the whole thing, irritated and apprehensive but not panicking, making sure he maintains intelligent rationality, even when he has to leave them behind, but when spock and the crew are confirmed safe and the bridge is occupied the camera pans to him and his eyes look like they're fucking watering and he's so achingly relieved. don't even talk to me. im. fuck.
he shows so so much but at the same time reveals so little.
#just had to write something about this because i loveeee seeing cool characters in distress. sorry but i need to see that boy PANICKING#im only on season 1 still so i dont know if there is a point where kirk openly seriously panics in the typical way#in high stress situations hes guarded but controlled#seeing him genuinely lose his nerve and start panicking would make me ouuughghgughg#like if he starts actually hyperventilating for kirk you know somethings so wronggg#but no yeah even if spock is injured or kirk is concerned about him he still shows that in the tense guarded high strung demeanor#same with spock really - his tone becomes tense and he uses jims name and its subtle but AAACKKK#i love the note of desperation being logical. that one episode is such a good exploration of spocks characer#i just think its interesting. to me it reads not only of kirks headstrong nature but also of his experience on taurus iv#not equipped for rambling#star trek tos#star trek#james kirk#jim kirk#captain kirk#kirk tos#hope this is right because im only just coming to the end of season 1 so#i love kirk so much though i cant even#hoping so so much ive interpreted him well#and that this makes sense. this is a ramble to the max.#he draws people into his orbit hes lively hes intelligent hes a burning whirl of passion and arhrthhhh
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i can't with all these "the show is highlighting tommy's jealousy, they're planting seeds that it will cause problems" takes like bffr. he mentioned being envious over the 118's dynamic twice, sure, but in what world (literally how?) would that cause a relationship problem? do yall expect him to be in cahoots with gerrard behind their back and murder buck to take over his life or something?? like even with the hyperbole aside, i genuinely cannot see how they can turn this into relationship drama without going against everything they showed us with tommy so far
#he literally reassured buck about his relationships in that first scene he's fine with it#he asked how buck was doing about bobby because again he KNOWS (he literally has eyes & was there to witness buck save bobby from the ship)#how much bobby means to him like do yall think 6 months into their relationship he will be unable to deal with this and what? demand buck#not be so close with them?#or that he will want to be a part of that too and buck (who in turn reassured him about this in 7x04) will be like#“uhm babe you wanting to be friends with my friends is giving me the ick?”#like whats the logic here#i'll eat my words if 911 can spin this as relationship drama i will#but im also certain this is not going the way you guys think it will#if anything the most logical follow up to this is tommy connecting with these people more as he desires and it being a good thing for both#tommy's character and bucktommy's relationship#ok rant over#911#bucktommy#tevan#kinley#edit: the only think i can think of is if he feels neglected bc say buck needs to make time for someone else but even that doesn't make#sense because buck NEVER neglected his love interests and tommy is literally friends with all these ppl to a degree so he'd arguably#understand it more than any of his exes (none of whom had any problems with buck#'s relationships within the 118)#i think you're just ignoring the context of these scenes because they paint the bigger picture of tommy being fully accepting of these#relationships so unless something changes drastically (an external thing making him feel insecure about it/buck going too ooc and#neglecting his significant other entirely etc.) i dont see how this can be a problem#mimi.txt
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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